This post is coming to you live from Miami International Airport. The time is approaching 6:30pm, with just over 3 hours to go before boarding time.

The good news is; disembarkation went pretty smoothly. I left the ship at about 10am with the dance hosts, and a mini-bus took us to the airport. The even better news is that there was a baggage storage place at the airport, where I was able to leave my suitcases for $14 (about £8 I think). This gave me a good chunk of the day, luggage-free, to be able to catch a Miami Dade Transit bus to Downtown Miami and enjoy the city. So, as it turned out, I needn't have worried!

Everybody is so polite on the buses! People couldn't jump up fast enough to offer their seat when a woman or an elderly person boarded, and when a guy in an electric wheelchair boarded - well, you wouldn't believe the efforts taken to ensure his comfort and safety. An electrically-operated ramp appeared out of nowhere to allow him easy access, then the driver himself came out of his cabin to make sure the wheelchair was safely strapped in - remarkable! All of this must have taken about 5 minutes, without a single grumble from any of the other passengers, before we continued on our way.

When I finally arrived at the hub of the city - the Bayside area, it was teeming with passengers from the Balmoral (those who are on Fred Olsen charter flights and a few who had been on excursions).

So, I finally got to  see Horatio Caine's city, with its soaring tower blocks and its busy freeways. I ate at a small pasta place and sat out on the verandah looking out over the harbour, and was shortly joined by a couple from San Francisco, who are holidaying in Florida. This was a godsend, since we spent a good hour and a half talking; mainly discussing the differences between the US and the UK. We talked politics (no, they hadn't voted for Bush, either), taxes (I'd seen a strange couple on the ride in, wearing Statue of Liberty costumes and brandishing banners saying 'Income Taxes' - turns out, their deadline for putting in their tax returns is looming). We discussed language differences, food habits and movies. What a fantastic way to while away the time!

I arrived back at the airport by taxi - which cost me a whopping $23, and within 10 minutes, I'd collected my bags and joined the queue for the Virgin Atlantic check-in.

All of this went very smoothly - too smoothy - I'm waiting for something to go wrong!

It's just coming up to 6pm, and we've just set sail on our last leg towards Miami, after spending the day in Key West, the most Southerly tip of the United States of America.

The first three and a half hours of the day (8am until 11:30am) were spent seeing the Immigration Officals who were on board to clear the ship. Every single passenger had to have a face-to-face interview, present their passports and green visa-waiver forms, and answer a few simple questions. In order to avoid a mad scramble, passengers were asked to only join the queue after hearing their deck number announced. This didn't stop passengers simply joining the queue at their own convenience, of course, and several heated exchanges occured when deck-8-ers realised they were being infiltrated by impatient deck-7 and deck-6-ers. Not a pretty sight.

As soon as I'd been cleared, I jumped on the shuttle-bus to savour the delights of Key West. The town is loud, brash, and very American, with burger joints, bustling bars and endless tourist souvenir shops, but I found I rather liked it. On the return journey to the ship, we had to stop at yet another security point. where two guards boarded the bus to check passports and ship boarding cards, and rummaged through our bags to check that we weren't taking anything back on board that we didn't ought to. What we might possibly be smuggling on board ship after two hours in Key West is quite beyond me. I can't help but think that they're a tad paranoid.

The end of the cruise is now in sight. I have to head on down to my cabin now and start thinking about packing. Suitcases have to be left outside cabins from 10pm onwards, so everybody'll be dressed in their civvies this evening.

I've been asked, via e-mail, why it is that this blog doesn't seem to be populated by all the crazy, eccentric people that previous cruises seem to have been. I think, despite all the negative immigration and Miami stuff, everybody just seems to have been happier for most of the time, and so the more extreme human traits don't seem to have surfaced quite so much. I put this down to the fly-cruise experience, where the cruise proper starts out under blue skies and blistering heat right from the word go. Every day, the top deck is a heaving mass of blistering flesh (think BBC Nature programs showing Lion seals flopping about on the beach and you kind of get the picture) and both swimming pools have been full.

My own cruising habits have also been slightly different on this trip. I haven't indulged in the quiz-nights, preferring to hang about in the 'Morning Light Pub' of an early evening, listening to the sounds of Pat Shannon, billed as an Irish Troubadour. I must say though, that his rendition of 'You're the One that I Want' from Grease, with himself singing both parts to a keyboard accompaniment made me cringe slightly. His other stuff has been brilliant though, and I've preferred his sounds to some of the more elaborate shows performed in the Neptune Lounge - it appeals to my sense of 'ordinariness'.

I don't quite know what tomorrow is going to bring. I'm not looking forward to the long hours before I finally touch English soil again, and am mentally preparing to go into 'hibernation' mode as and when the occasion arises. Once off the ship there will be 11 hours before my flight, during which I'll most likely be stuck at Miami Airport, unable to leave my suitcases until the earliest I can check them in, which will be 6pm, 4 hours before the flight. I'd love to get the chance to have a good look at Miami itself, but I don't know if the opportunity will be there. We'll see.

If I don't get a chance to write any further posts, I'd just like to say I hope those of you who have been reading it have enjoyed it. Of course, I'm hoping to get a wi-fi connection in the airport, so watch this space for any further excitement direct from Miami tomorrow!

It's the last of our sea-days today. This morning I gave my penultimate workshop, which nearly didn't happen because, firstly, the door to the Arts & Crafts Room was stll locked with 15 minutes to go and passengers arriving for the session, and no sign of anyone from the Entertainments Department. When finally a kindly porter showed me an alternative, back way into the room , I was horrified to discover that there were only 3 tables (and I've been using 7). After another frantic dash to the Entertainments room, where staff had now turned up, a few phone calls to try and locate the tables resulted in an assurance that they'd be found and delivered back to the room asap. So the day didn't start too well. The workshop went okay though; despite the slow start (and the tables arrived about 10 minutes into the session), I had them painting the sea and boats, which seemed to go down well. However, it looks like this is the first cruise I've been on where an exhibition of students' work seems very unlikely!

Tomorrow, we arrive in Key West, Florida, which means the start of all the fun and games. Before any excursions are allowed to take place, or indeed before anyone is allowed off the ship, US immigration officals will be boarding the vessel to personally interview every single person, which is probably going to take upwards of two hours or more. Every passenger has been given two forms to fill out, the same two I had to complete ready for arrival in Miami just over a week ago, a green entry visa form and a customs declaration. Needless to say this has caused a certain amount of consternation amongst the passengers, resulting in long queues at Reception with queries about how to fill the damn things in. Many are furious that the one-to-one immigration procedures are going to have to take place, and that it is going to take up so much valuable time out of what, to all intent and purposes, will be the last proper day of their holiday. Apparently, when the ship arrived in Miami last week, the ship had to be completely emptied of passengers - they all had to stand around on the quayside for an hour and a half while officials went on board and scoured the ship.

It feels odd that it's almost over; I don't know where the time has gone, and I'm not looking forward to Monday at all. Disembarkation at Miami will take place in the morning, the last people off the ship being at around 11am. From then on, I'll be dumped from a shuttle-bus at Miami Airport with my rucksack and two large suitcases with almost 11 hours of mind-bending boredom to look forward to, since my Virgin Atlantic flight to Heathrow won't be leaving until 21:55! I've been told at Reception that there are no facilities for leaving luggage until checking-in time so that I could take a look at Miami itself, which is highly disappointing. From then onwards, I'll have a 9-hour flight to cope with, taking me through until the early hours of Tuesday morning - except it won't be the early hours because 5 hours then have to be added on, taking me up to 12 noon (assuming the flight's on time) and only an hour and a half to pick up luggage and leg it over to Terminal 3 (from Terminal 5) for the final leg to Manchester, leaving at 1:15pm. This all just sounds like some sort of nightmare to me.

So, its now lunchtime, so I'm off for a quick bite to eat before heading off back to the Arts and Crafts Room for the last workshop.

Tonight is also the last Formal Night (there's actually only been one other), where the dinner jacket and dickie-bow will come out for the last time before being packed away. Dress codes have been slightly different this time around, with the most common one being 'Casual', intermingled with the occasional 'Smart-Casual', which pretty much means everyone wearing the same as a Casual night but with an extra button done up. No 'Informal' Nights, which has been a bit of a disappointment because it means I haven't had a chance to wear my white jacket!

Today we arrived in Mexico.

First port of call was another tender-job, with the ship anchored just off-shore long enough for excursions to be taken to Playa Del Carmen, on the mainland, before heading for the island of Cozumel. Today, I was escorting a tour to see the ancient ruins of the walled city of Tulum. This is another site of Mayan ruins, as opposed to Aztec, similar to those seen the other day, a tour billed as lasting 7 and a half hours.

Our guide, Armando, was a pleasant chap, who insisted that, as I was in Mexico, I should be known as Pedro, and he kept calling me Amigos, too.

Tulum is a major tourist attraction in Mexico, and they've really got their act together! Unlike the dodgy organisation experienced in the Honduras, the Mexicans really know how to run things. Unfortunately, this rather makes the whole experience a weany bit orchestrated (think Stonehenge, and you'll know what I mean). Huge coach-parks full of eager tourists, and endless tourist shops all selling exactly the same things. Men selling hats pounced upon us the minute we'd got off the bus - we'd been warned about the heat, and their eagerness to sell us cheap-looking straw hats was, it seems, only because they were thinking of our welfare. At $10 per hat, however, not many were biting.

To be fair, the site was impressive, with lots of ruins to look at, many crawling with Iguanas. Perhaps the most impressive bit, though, was discovered after the guided tour had finished and we were allowed to wander freely. A short walk to the head of the largest temple revealed a huge drop down to the sea - and what colours! People flocked to the edges just to peer in awe at the view, and the impromptu bathers far below.

As people arrived back at the bus they were handed a packed lunch, which included an iguana sandwich - very common in these parts - similar in taste to chicken, but a little shinier in texture.

On our return to Playa Del Carmen, we had to be taken by ferry to Cozumel, a bumpy 30-minute catamarran journey to rejoin The Balmoral. Frankly, I was slightly disappointed in the place, since its entire raison d'etre was to try and part tourists from their money, mainly in exchange for yet more garishly tacky tat. It reminded me of a Caribbean version of Blackpool.

Docked alongside, and dwarfing, the Balmoral, was a huge cruise liner, which I watched leave port at about 6pm this evening. When two ships are this close together, and one leaves, it's quite an occasion. Passengers from each vessel look across to one another with something resembling half-kinship, half-rivalry. As the huge monster of a ship started to pull away, the waving and the good-natured hollering and banter began, like we were all long-time freinds parting with such sweet sorrow. Fact is, we'll probably bump into them again in Key West, where we're due to arrive on Sunday. Tomorrow is the last sea-day, so I'll be giving workshops, and tonight it's 'Tropical' night, so I'm off now to join a deck party.

Our Destination today was Roatan Island, 29 miles long and only 2 miles wide, and what a tropical island paradise it is too! (Discounting the building site we had to walk through the minute we disembarked from the ship - this will be their new quayside terminal when it's finished).

The tour I was assigned to today took us to Colombala Botanical Gardens, where we were treated to a whole range of interesting trees (such as the mahogany, cinammon and cashew trees), tropical plants and flowers, and snakes snoozing in the branches above our heads. Our enthusiastic young guide bounded around telling us about everything we came across with good humour, and even sang to us as she chopped up a pineapple and a mango for all to sample. Her cheerful demeanour paid dividends when it came to the end of our guided tour; the passengers couldn't thrust money into her hands fast enough!

After this, we were taken to a Butterfly Park, where Macaws screeched at us, and parrots chuntered and sqwarked at us. Beautiful, large, red birds with very long tails posed in the trees and preened themselves for the cameras, and some parrots were happy to sit on visitors' fingers for the purposes of taking souvenir photographs. The butterfly enclosure was fun to walk through; with all butterflies of all sizes and colours flapping past us and dutifully doing lots of butterfly-things.

Finally, our tour took us to West End Village, which is as typical a Caribbean-looking location as any. Here, the beach curves its way around the bay, broken only by swaying palm trees, boats and cruise passengers slowly sizzling in the 36-degree midday heat. Bars and Cafes beckon, and establishments lure visitors to go diving out by Roatan's Barrier Reef. We were given a complementary drink and told we had an hour of free time before having to reboard the bus. I spent most of it paddling.

There were three buses laid on for this trip, yet only two tour escorts. No matter how much care is taken in the checking of passenger numbers to ensure that enough escorts are provided, it seems the only thing that the excursion people on board can't predict with any certainty, is how the numbers will be split up once on the quayside. On my bus we had 24 passengers, myself and the guide, and every seat was taken. The reason I'm describing all this is because the unexpected third bus, doing the tour the opposite way around so as to avoid congestion at the botanical gardens and the butterfly garden, was sat on the quayside in West End Village waiting for 4 passengers who had failed to return to the bus on time. They'd arrived at 9:30am and the guide had told the passengers to be back at the bus by 10:30am. It was now 11:30am, and tempers were starting to fray. One American gentleman came up to me (even though I wasn't assigned to his bus, which didn't have an escort) demanding to know if I was with the Balmoral, and what was I going to do about the situation. He was livid; he said he was going to demand his money back and kick up a right old stink about this. Ultimately, of course, the bus had to leave, but leaving it an hour did seem a little on the excessive side. I offered to look around and see if I could spot the absent passengers, and squeeze them onto the remaining 2 buses should they turn up before our time to leave, but the chances were, they'd probably just taken a taxi back to the ship anyway (because that's what some people do - without any thought whatsoever for the consequences).

Anyway; our tour finished without incident. I still don't know what happened to the 4 missing passengers, but as we set sail at 4pm, on time, and without any announcements, I'm assuming they made it back to the ship by themselves. Before leaving, I finally managed to find a local internet cafe, where I successfully uploaded the photographs I'd so spectacularly failed to upload yesterday, so it's worth just checking back over the previous posts (from Miami onwards) to see the photies.

Tomorrow, we're docking in Mexico, and I've been assigned a 7-and-half hour tour to see some aztec ruins - Woo Hoo!!!! Bring it on!

Once again, it's been a very hot day. Although I enjoy the novelty of unbroken good weather and temperatures in the mid- to high-80s, I must say I find it can be rather draining, and by late afternoon all I want to do is sleep. I've spoken to a few other passengers about this, and most report the same thing. Throughout the trip so far, I've found 10:30pm to be about my limit (earlier on a couple of occasions) - after I've had dinner and took a glance at whatever is going on around the ship, maybe had a couple of beers and checked mail in the internet room, I'm ready to hit the sack.

If it's Wednesday, it must be Guatamala.

We arrived in Santo Tomas de Castilla, in Guatamala at about 8am. With very few excursions having been laid on today, I found myself without any escort duty, so I headed for the terminal building where there is an internet cafe, with the intention of uploading some photographs to the blog. I have a small 4GB flash-drive that fits neatly into my bum-bag, which I'd copied the editted photos over onto from my laptop prior to leaving my cabin, so providing I could find a PC capable of accepting it, I was in business.

Unfortunately, none of the 8 PCs there would accept it, for some reason, so I decided I'd take the shuttle bus into town later to try one of the internet cafes there.

Before doing that, however, I joined up with 3 other passengers to hire a taxi for a small excursion of our own. After bartering with the taxi people, we agreed on a price of $20 each to take us to three locations - the city, the waterfalls, and the mountains. George, our enthusisatic driver, was the perfect host; he drove us into the small township they call the city, stopping every now and then to point out places of interest. After driving through Santo Tomas de Castilla, he said the next on our itinerary would be the beach, which we all said we weren't really interested in; we were all keen to see waterfalls and mountains.

George seemed to be enthusiastic, and well-able to understand English, only when it suited him. In the town, he insisted on introducing us to his wife, Caroline, who ran a hairdressing salon, and his shaggy dog called Sosa. Continually, we kept saying how much we were looking forward to seeing the mountains and some good viewpoints from which to take photographs, and continually, he kept saying how much we would enjoy the beach.

Anyway, somehow we managed to get it through to him that none of us were in the slightest bit interested in the beach, and so we finally found ourselves heading towards the outskirts of town, and to a nature reserve promising some fabulous waterfalls, Las Escobas.

After handing over an entrance fee of $8 each, a young guide called Joseph led us along well-tarmaced tracks, into what can only be described as a bit of a rain forest. It must be said, at this point, that the temperature today was 32-degrees, with a humidity of 93%, which made wearing clothes a tad uncomfortable. Joseph, an orphan, told us all the names of the plants and trees, pointed out a bats' cave, and dutifully let a huge ant and a small lizard crawl over his forearms for our entertainment. Unfortunately, when we came to the waterfall, despite it being in a beautiful location, it was a touch on the disappointing side. We were told that we are here at the wrong time of year to see the waterfall in spate, and would have to make do with the trickle before us (of course, it wouldn't do to point this out at the taxi rank or they'd never get any customers).

After this, it was back to the quayside, and George became strangely unresponsive. What about the mountains? What about the fantastic viewpoints we'd been promised? Alas, there would be no mountain viewpoints today. I rather suspect, also, from glancing at the maps that adorned the entrance to the waterfalls walk, that we were somewhat shortchanged in that regard too - there looked to be tons of different walks and waterfalls labelled on those maps, yet we were marched up to see only one (could it be that George was a little too keen to get back and pick up a fresh set of tourists to take along to meet his wife?).

Back at the boat, I had a brief lunch and headed out to catch the shuttle bus for what would be its last journey today. I figured it shouldn't take me long to find an internet cafe, since I'd spotted a dozen or so on the morning ride with George, and it would only take a few minutes to complete the upload and then I could get back to the ship.

Unfortunately, when we were dropped off, we discovered that we had to have a guide (it's the law in these parts apparently), a lovely young lady who would see that we got everything we needed. Many passengers stayed put on the bus, having seen all they needed to see from the outward journey. Guatamala is a poor place; many homes are ramshackle, run-down shed-like structures, and we'd been warned of pickpockets on the ship.

So, it ended up being myself and two gay american guys being led through the town, firstly to an internet cafe, where my USB gizmo failed to be recognised yet again (aaargh!), then into a market so one of the blokes could buy a t-shirt. For the entire time, we were also followed by a young, dishevelled boy hassling us for money; poking us or just standing in front of us at every opportunity. Blatantly ignoring him, which usually seems to work in such situations, didn't seem to have any effect whatsoever, and it was a bit like having an annoying fly following you about.

Annoyed that I'd failed to upload my photographs, I headed straight for my cabin on my return to the ship, just to double-check that everything was okay with the gizmo, by plugging it into the laptop, and guess what? It didn't work!!!! Quickly, I fished out my plug-in USB hard drive, copied the photos over, and headed back to the terminal internet cafe.... at which point the power went down in the building, and I was unable yet again to complete my task, which now will have to wait until tomorrow.

It's still hot and humid as we head into the evening; Guatamala is a nice place overall - I liked it, but I wouldn't want to spend a fortnight's holiday here!

Tomorrow we arrive at Roatan Island, Honduras.

Today we arrived at Belize, which was particularly exciting because this is the first time we've had to drop anchor and get to the shore via tender (small boats and catamarrans, running a sort of floating taxi service). The Balmoral was one of three large ships all anchored about 2 miles out from the quayside, all using tenders.

The trip to shore took about 25 minutes, and it was FANTASTIC!! several small boats, all travelling really fast towards Belize - it felt like something out of an adventure movie.

Once ashore, our group boarded a coach for Altun Ha, a journey taking about 1 hour and 10 minutes, along some pretty rough and bumpy roads - no wonder everyone was bursting for the loo when we got there!

Belize, formally known as British Honduras, got its independence in 1981 (I think), but to this day it remains part of the British Commonwealth. It has tropical jungles, some pretty impressive mountains, and two 'Blue Holes', which are large, circular sink-holes off-shore, surrounded by coral reef. Its most common wildlife include snakes, Iguanas, and Howler Monkeys. Sharks swim off these shores, as do Manatee, or 'sea-cows'.

Altun Ha (Maya for 'Rock Stone Water') was great. It is an ancient ruined Maya city, which would once have thrived as a trading post, sporting several large Mayan temples. We were given a guided tour, which told us everything we wanted to know about the temples, and lots more that we didn't really want to know, and finished up with about 25 minutes of free time at the end, giving us time to climb to the top of them and take all the necessary photographic proof that we were ever there. Although Mayans (very short people apparently) are notorious for their habit of taking human sacrifices (I've senn Mel Gibson's Apocalypto), we were told that there are no records of any such sacrifices taking place it this particular site. Apparently, the Mayan's played some sort of game, where two sides met in battle. Arms and hands were not allowed to be used in combat, although pretty much anything else was okay - elbows, heads, feet, whatever. The fascinating thing is that the winners were sacrificed! Someone asked the guide, so, didn't teams deliberately try to lose, and she told us, no; being sacrificed after winning was the highest honour - those people would be revered and noted for their courage (albeit in a rather bloody way), bizarre, huh?.

What this particular site is famous for was the discovery of the world's largest carved jade head, weighing in at almost 9lbs, by a Dr David Prendergast of the Royal Ontario Museum. The head is now kept under lock and key in Belize City and only brought out on display when dignitaries come to visit.

We were there for about an hour and a half, in the humid 85-degree heat, with a complementary bottle of water. In another hour and ten minutes, we were back at Belize City, making the return trip to the Balmoral, back in time for lunch. Everybody seemed to enjoy themselves despite the long drive out and the incessant rambling of the tour guide who I swear didn't pause to take a breath once on the outward journey.

This afternoon, I think I saw a small shark gliding through the water, alongside the ship (while we were still at anchor), just below the surface (someone tells me it may have been a Reef Shark). Despite fully intending to whip my camera out to take a photo, I simply remained transfixed until finally it slid back downwards, into the depths. Woo Hoo! (I think we're gonna need a bigger boat!)

The tender service finishes shortly, and sail-away is at 5pm, so I'm off to catch the action at the deck-party. Tonight it's a Thai Special in the Palms Cafe.

Once again, I'm conscious of the time being almost four in the afternoon, whilst at home it's coming up to 11 o'clock in the evening and Tuesday has almost ended. Word is, there has been snow, too, back home, which is difficult to imagine right at this very moment. Tomorrow, Wednesday, we arrive in Guatamala - how foreign is that?

I'm pretty hacked off right this moment because Id just written a long post about being woken up by the buzzing of my mobile phone at 2am this morning and realising that we are currently 7 hours behind the UK, so with the time just coming up to 6pm, it means the time at home is almost 1am on Tuesday morning, which I find pretty mind-bending stuff! Then, because this is a sea-day, I thought it would be nice to describe the ship in some detail, taking in its 3 restaurants (2 posh ones where lecturers are not allowed and The Palms Cafe, where we are allowed), The Neptune Lounge Ballroom which has to have 2 sittings to accommodate the huge number of passengers, the Morning Light Pub, which just feels exactly like sitting in a pub anywhere at home, and about the variety of music that seems to be played on every corner, from the keyboard/guitarist in the pub, to the jazz pianist in the Observatory Lounge, to the fantastic trio that play in the atrium above the Reception area, and... tons of other stuff... but then the computer logged out and rebooted on me, so I LOST EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!

I hate it when computers do that to you. No matter how hard you try, it is impossible to re-write a post and it have exactly the same feel to it, so I'm not going to. It was my own fault - I wasn't paying attention to the little box that tells me I'm logged in, and asks me after a while if I want to remain logged in or end the session, to which I have to respond or it takes matters into its own hands. To be fair, I have to say that the internet system on board is by far the best I've come across to date. It only charges you for the time it takes to download a page, or send information, which makes it very fair. On the downside, there are no printing facilities, and, as always, no facilities for plugging in a USB gizmo to upload photos.

Finally, I did want to say that The Balmoral has no fewer than 11 decks, and is carrying approximately 1000 passengers; far larger than anything I've yet sailed on. In fact, the ship, originally named 'The Norwegian Crown' (and it has also been known as 'The Crown Odyssey'), was bought by Fred Olsen, who sliced it right down the middle and stuck an extra bit in it to make it longer. I only hope the welding holds! Currency on board is Sterling, but no cash ever changes hands. Everything is done using the magnetic keycards issued to everyone when they first come aboard. This card gets you into your cabin, logs you on in the Internet Room, lets you leave the ship at port (and lets you back on), and pays for any purchases made in the shopping area. In short, it's like a small village - at sea.

I've just completed my second day of workshops, and am looking forward now to a few days of port visits and, hopefully, tour-escorting a few interesting excursions. Tomorrow, in Belize, I'm doing a tour to some ancient ruins, which are famous for the discovery of one of the world's largest ever gemstones.

I'm off to the Fitness Centre now for a bit of a workout, before dinner. Tonight is Red, White and Blue night, so it'll be on with my red Madeira T-shirt. The Fitness Centre is situated at the front of the ship, above the Bridge, which offers fantastic views as you chug away on the treadmills. Light and airy, the room is almost the opposite to the Arts and Crafts room where I do my workshops, down on Deck 3, in the very bowels of the ship.

Today we arrived at Ocho Rios, in Jamaica, and what a fantastic day it's been!!

I was up early for escorting duty - didn't think i was going to get any breakfast due to the huge queues of passengers also up early - turns out, most of the ship, it seemed, were booked on excursions; the Neptune Lounge, where everybody has to meet to get tickets stamped and escorts given their numbered lollipops, was full to bursting.

It looked, for one awful moment, like there was going to be a repeat of my being left behind again, when we got down to the coaches, but fortunately, our guide, Sandreen who was lovely (a larger than life, bubbly Jamaican lass who I told I wanted to take home with me), insisted that I take the front seat and she take one of the emergency seats by the door. This was an excellent start, since it meant getting a prime view up front of the vehicle, sat by our driver, Brydon.

Everybody is very cool in Jamaica. Sandeen explained that there are two phrases used often in these parts - the first is "Yah Mon" (as in the affirmative 'yes man'), and "No Problem". Nothing seems to phase these people - I loved 'em!

Our first stop was to the Dunns River Falls, where the group was asked to decide whether or not they wanted to climb the falls, and get wet. About 15 of the group said they wanted to try out the experience, and I was certainly not going to pass up such an opportunity - bring it on!!

Well, what can I say? Utterly fantastic! For almost an hour, we climbed 960 feet up the Dunn Rivers Falls. The climb is supervised and lead by guides, of course, who know the best route and have everyone sitting in waterfalls, sliding down into deep basins, and throwing themselves backwards into the fast flowing waters for many a memorable photo-opportunity. Not only that; one of the guides was sporting a video camera, catching the best moments, and when we finally arrived at the top, an extremely efficient marketing system had them offering DVDs of our intrepid expedition at 40$ per disc, available to take away within about 15 minutes of completing the climb. Several people in the group took up the offer, and I, being a tour escort, was offered a complementary one - nice one huh?

Our second stop of the tour was to Noel Coward's home, known as Firefly (apparently, they have a lot of them around here). Despite the feeling that anything after the Falls was going to be a bit of an anti-climax, Firefly turned out to be an extraordinary experience of quite a different kind. I don't really know much about Noel Coward, I must confess (I know a bit more now, of course), but this hilltop dwelling, which is now a popular visitor attraction was surprisingly charming. Boy, did he know how to spot a good location! The views where awesome, looking down over the bay, where James Bond Beach is located (this is where Ursula Andress walked out of the sea in Dr No), and within a stone's thow of his mate Ian Fleming's House (called Golden Eye). As well as being able to sit at the very desk that Noel wrote many of his most famous plays, we got to stand in his art studio and see where the Queen Mam stopped and had tea with him.

His list of celebrity chums was extensive, with photos and testimonials scattered about the walls - the likes of Sophia Loren, Richard Burton, Marilyn Monroe, Sean Connery, to name but a few. He was certainly a popular person amongst his peers, even if his plays weren't always well received by the critics. This memorial is indeed a fascinating and fitting shrine to a gifted artist.

The final thrill of the day was learning that the quay by which the Balmoral was docked is known as The James Bond Dock, because of it having been used as film locations for both Dr No and Live and Let Die! (ding-diddle-ing-ding-ding-ding-ding....)

I could quite happily come back to Jamaica and spend longer here - Yah Mon!!

The time is now coming up to a quarter to six, so dinner looms. We've set sail again; this time we're heading towards Belize, where we are due to arrive on Tuesday, so tomorrow is our second sea-day, meaning I have to prepare for two more workshops. It's 'Elements of the Landscape', which means covering a little bit of everything - trees, skies, stone walls and basic composition.

It's coming up to 4pm, and I can report that the first two workshops have gone well. The day started off rather strangely, since I arrived at the Art & Craft room in plenty of time this morning, set up the tables and prepared for the arrival of my first students at 10am, only to be sat around with minutes to go wondering where they all were. Maybe, after all this, no-one wanted to attend watercolour classes? Almost on the dot of the hour,  the captain's voice came over the tannoy system with his morning report, announcing the time to be 9am. Turns out we were meant to turn our timepieces back one hour last night, and I forgot to do it!

Needless to say, despite the false start, I needn't have worried; at 10am, no fewer than 20 passengers turned up for my 'Building Blocks of Watercolour' session - and about 15 turned up to the repeat session this afternoon. Everybody seemed to go away happy, and I managed to get a few good 'action'-photos of the event.

I've received notification that I'm down for more escort duty tomorrow (let's hope I make a better job of it this time). I was wrong about Belize - seems the itinerary has been changed slightly, and we are due to arrive in Ocho Rhios, in Jamaica, at 8am in the morning.

The tour I have been assigned to will visit the home of Noel Coward, 'Firefly', and take in the home of Ian Fleming. In fact - and this part REALLY excites me - much of the film 'Live and Let Die' was filmed on Ocho Rhios, a movie I've always been very fond of, so I shall be on the lookout for familiar locations.

Tonight is the first Formal Night of the cruise, coinciding with the Captain's Welcome Aboard Cocktail Party, so I shall be sporting dinner jacket and dickie-bow, as always on these occasions. I'm also hoping to be able to stay up a little longer tonight, since both previous nights I've faded fast and been fast asleep in my cabin by 10:30. This simply will not do! (I suspect it's just the flight catching up on me).